


So Strong, So Numb

by writerbitch_letsgooo



Category: RIORDAN Rick - Works, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan, The Trials of Apollo - Rick Riordan
Genre: Gen, I just wanted to write out what I thought happened after ToN, Kinda Fluffy, Leo Valdez Needs a Hug, Specifically surrounding this relationship, also solangelo is entirely too adorable and I will feature them in every fic possible, kinda angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:56:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29507952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerbitch_letsgooo/pseuds/writerbitch_letsgooo
Summary: “There had been pain before”Leo figures out what he wants to do after Calypso breaks up with him. It turns out that things do get easier.
Relationships: Leo Valdez/Calypso (past), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	So Strong, So Numb

There had been pain before. It had burned like a wildfire, spread in his veins, turned his blood orange from red, bruises black from purple. He’d stubbed his toe, broken bones, had his joints ache. None of that had compared to when the flames had licked and danced in glee as his mother slipped away, reduced to a nearly forgotten spirit as she roamed the fields of dull wheat amongst the ghosts of the past.  
Leo remembered the bite of the cold night air, just barely, as if he were scared of the heat. It was a terrifying contrast to the fire. A woman in a blue uniform spoke quietly to him. It should have been soothing. It wasn’t. He tried to listen to her, but the words just slipped away as if they themselves were the flames that had snatched his mother from him. Hot and not quite solid, but they hurt even if he couldn’t grasp them.  
The woman finally stopped. He looked up from his feet, which were dangling high above the black asphalt of the street. The woman looked scared. Was she scared for him? Scared of him? In that moment, Leo Valdez decided that this was the worst pain anyone could ever feel. What heartbreak could compare to this one? He tapped onto his leg in Morse Code, hoping that maybe his mother would hear him, feel him.  
I love you.  
She didn’t answer.  
Yes, Leo had felt pain before this. The type of pain that was so relentless that you could think of nothing else until you were numb. So when Calypso had called him from Band Camp that summer, just before she was scheduled to come back to the Waystation, and told him that a boy from her group had asked her out and she’d realized that she didn’t really want any romance in her life at the moment, he’d wanted to laugh.  
Leo hadn been sure that he’d loved her. He’d cared for her, obviously, and liked her well enough to die for her, to help her get off that island. He knew he had no entitlement to her life and her choices and he wasn’t ever going to make her feel guilty for making a decision that was right for her, but it still burned. It was that pain again, perhaps a little diluted. And then it was numb.  
Jo and Emmie were empathetic when he told them. There was a flare in his heart, one of fondness. They had taken on the roles that his mother and father hadn’t been able to fulfill. They’d made him feel worthy and loved, made him laugh. They had provided a home.  
“Do you want to take a little vacation, Leo? We understand if you don’t want to see her for a while,” Emmie said. She held his face gently and wiped a stray tear from his cheek.  
“I- where would I go?”  
“Camp Half-Blood, maybe. Or Camp Jupiter,” Jo put in.  
Leo chuckled a little. “I haven’t been to Camp Half-Blood in a while. It’d do old Uncle Leo well to see his siblings again.”  
Jo laughed. “I’m glad to see your sense of humor is returning. Heartbreak can take a lot out of you.”  
Leo sighed. “I think I’ll leave tomorrow morning. Just gotta clean Festus up a bit and I’ll be all set.”  
“And clothing, Leo.”  
“Yeah, of course.”  
Emmie pulled him to his room. “Sit.”  
“I can peel the carrots-”  
“Not today. I want you to rest up.”  
“Why? It’s not even dinner.”  
“You should IM Camp to at least tell them you’re headed over there. I’ll bring dinner to you when it’s finished.”  
“Man, I am hungry.”  
“Maybe you should’ve eaten the past few days.”  
“Hey! I was emotionally unstable.”  
“Aren’t you always?” Emmie asked with a soft smile. “Call them.”  
“Okay! Okay!”  
Emmie slipped out of the room and left a devastating silence behind. Leo may have been peppier that day than he was before, but the ache was still ever present.  
He reached into his toolbelt and felt around for a drachma and a water sprayer. It took a few seconds, but he found what he needed.  
He spritzed the water into the air and flipped the drachma, muttering a prayer to Iris to show him Chiron at Camp Half-Blood. An image fluttered into appearance, vague at first but it grew clearer by the second.  
Chiron was sat in his wheelchair on the porch of the Big House. To anyone who didn’t know him, he would’ve been an ordinary man who couldn’t walk. Beside him sat Mr. D, who was grumbling about how nobody except that “small child with no sense of style” understood the rules of pinochle. Across from him sat Nico di Angelo, who looked a little healthier than when Leo had last seen him as he arrived at Camp with… Calypso, and Will Solace, who Leo remembered had shown him around Camp when he’d first arrived. Before Gaea. Before Ogygia. Before anything.  
Leo hadn’t had the time to catch up with anyone but Percy and Apollo before flying off on Festus, but he felt a little bubble of happiness when he saw a small smile dance along Nico’s lips. And it wasn’t a humorless one, like those he’d seen on the Argo II. It was a real, genuine smile.  
He quickly snapped out of his thoughts and cleared his throat.  
“Mr. Valdez,” Chiron spoke. He smiled and turned to look at him. “what can we help you with that would require this Iris Message? Is everything okay at the Waystation?”  
Leo gulped. “Yep! Everything is fine and dandy. Spectacular, even. I was just calling to tell you that I’m heading back to Camp for a little bit. Just missed you guys. Harley and Nyssa and Jake. Sorry for rambling, but Emmie told me to tell you in advance.”  
A sad smile flickered on Chiron’s face, as if he knew exactly what had happened. “I see. When can we be expecting your arrival, Leo?”  
“I’m leaving on Festus in the morning-”  
“I can get you here faster, if you want.”  
Leo looked at the son of Hades, who had just spoken.  
“Shadow-travel,” he added.  
“Neeks, we talked about this. Only in emergencies,” Will interjected. He placed a hand on Nico’s shoulder.  
“This is an emergency. Valdez wants to get away from his ex-girlfriend-”  
“I never said anything about that.”  
“-and I want to shadow-travel. This is the perfect opportunity.”  
“Death Boy-”  
“Don’t call me that, William.”  
“Whatever, Mr. Dark Lord,” Will rolled his eyes, but he had a smile on his face.  
“Or that,” Nico grumbled.  
“Nico, Leo can get here on Festus just fine. And who ever said anything about an ex-girlfriend?”  
“Yeah! No lady could ever just drop Supersized McShizzle, Bad Boy Supreme.”  
“When you refer to yourself like that, I’m sure they can.”  
“Hey!”  
“So do you want me to shadow-travel you here or not?”  
“Nico!” Will said.  
Leo considered. “Can I still bring Festus?”  
“Can you, like, shrink him? I don’t think I could shadow-travel an entire dragon without dying. I’m still in recovery, or whatever.”  
“You shouldn’t be shadow-traveling at all, Neeks. Doctors o-”  
Nico slapped a hand over Will’s mouth. “Not today, Satan.”  
Will rolled his eyes, but stayed silent as he pried Nico’s fingers from his face.  
Leo cleared his throat. “Yes, I can make him compact into a metal suitcase.”  
“That works.”  
“Cool. Looks like CHB is getting a taste of good ol’ Leo quicker than anticipated.”  
“Ugh, I might have to revoke my offer if you keep spewing that shit out.”  
“You’re such a Debbie Downer, di Angelo.”  
Will laughed. “I told you! I so told you, Death Boy!”  
“Shut up.”  
Chiron smiled at Leo as the two demigods continued to bicker and laugh in the background. “We’ll send him to the Waystation as soon as Dionysus finishes his attempt at teaching them pinochle. Again.”  
Leo raised an eyebrow. “Again?”  
Chiron nodded. “I’ll be glad to see you again, Mr. Valdez.”  
“And you, Chiron.”  
He swiped a hand through the image, watching the particles of water settle and disappear. He focused on the way the mist felt falling on his skin, cool but perfectly welcoming. He tried to imagine himself back by the waterfall in the woods behind the machine shop, all those years ago.  
He heard laughter, contained within his head. He shut his eyes.  
I love you.  
He tapped it onto his knee until his fingers seized up. The memories were still painful, but then, he had felt paint before.  
“Valdez.”  
Leo looked up. The shadows flickered as a figure melted out of them. Nico di Angelo gave him a slightly crooked smile, small and timid.  
“If it isn’t our favorite Death Boy,” Leo said as he plastered on a smile.  
“Don’t call me that. Are you ready to go?”  
“I should tell Emmie and Jo.”  
“Who?”  
“Emmie and Jo, duh! I just said.”  
“Oh,” Nico said. “You’re foster moms?”  
“Yeah, I-” Leo paused. He locked eyes with the son of Hades.  
“What?”  
“I just… nevermind.”  
“No, go on. I want to hear what another person assumed about me.”  
“I just thought, I mean because you were born in, like, 1924-”  
“1932.”  
“Fine. I just thought you’d have more… conservative views, you know?”  
Nico sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You think I’m homophobic?”  
“Well not anymore, man. I just…”  
“We’re literally related to Greek gods, Valdez.”  
“Yeah, but-”  
“And, yes, I understand where you’re coming from, it just bothers me. You’re one of those people who thought I had a crush on Annabeth, no?”  
“Didn’t you?”  
“I’m about as heterosexual as Apollo. Less than, actually. Women are a no for me, in terms of attraction, and I was raised by two incredibly strong women, so all that misogyny wasn’t hard to let go of. The homophobia… that’s an entirely different story. It took a long time to accept my attraction towards men, but I’m getting better at it. Hazel’s been great, too.”  
“Okay, that’s a lot to unpack, Mr. 1932, but I currently have to do precisely the opposite with my clothing.”  
Nico hummed in reply.  
“And Nico?”  
“Hm?”  
“Thanks for… trusting me enough to tell me.”  
“I mean, you’re welcome, but pretty much everyone knows already. I don’t know how you missed it.”  
“I guess I was a bit preoccupied.”  
“So, what do you want to do first, pack or tell your foster mom’s that you’re leaving now?”  
“Woah, di Angelo, I didn’t exactly take you for a cut-to-the-chase kinda guy.”  
“And I have no idea why you felt the need to comment on it,” Nico said flatly.  
“I’ll go tell Emmie and Jo. Wanna come with? There’s food. You do eat food, right?”  
“Yes, actually, I do.”  
Leo gave him a skeptical look.  
“In small portions. I physically can’t eat too much at a time. That’s what Will says, anyways. But I have to eat if I want to make progress…”  
“Finally! The day Nico di Angelo wants to get better!”  
“You’re an asshole, Valdez.”  
“I try.”  
“Doesn’t seem like it.”  
Leo chose to ignore him. “Is that a yes to the food?”  
“Will’s going to force feed me when we get back to Camp, but sure.”  
“You talk about Solace a lot.”  
“I’d hope so, he’s my boyfriend.”  
Leo smiled a bit. “He is?”  
“Yeah, he is,” Nico said with a glare. He stumbled towards the door.  
“I’m happy for you.”  
“Yeah, thanks, could I get a little help here?”  
“Wha- oh, yeah,” Leo said. He wrapped an arm around the son of Hades to keep him up and helped him out of the room.  
“Leo? Are you- who’s this?” Emmie said, looking carefully at Nico.  
“This is Nico di Angelo. He, um, helped us in the war with Gaea.”  
“Damn right I did.”  
Jo chuckled from where she sat on the couch. “I like this one.”  
“Yeah, he’s a real charmer,” Leo said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.  
“Shut up, Valdez.”  
“I’m putting you on the couch, Debbie Downer.”  
Nico hissed but obliged, collapsing onto the cushions.  
“You need food, boy,” Jo commented.  
“I’m aware,” he said with a small smile.  
“You’re a child of Hades, no?”  
He nodded. “My reputation precedes me.”  
“We’ve heard a few things from the Hunters.”  
Nico flinched at the comment. “Oh. What’d they say?”  
“The usual when it comes to men.”  
“Good.”  
“Good?”  
“Nothing specific about me, I mean. I, um, have a bit of a history with them.”  
“Oh?” Jo raised an eyebrow.  
“Yeah, um, not a good one.”  
“I’m surprised they didn’t totally trash you out.”  
He gave her an odd look. “They don’t exactly have a reason to talk bad about me. If anything, I’m the one who should be saying trash about them. I used to.”  
Jo glanced at Emmie, than at Leo, who was struggling to keep his laughter under control.  
“Rejection really gets to you boys, eh?”  
“What? Ew, no,” Nico gagged. “I’d never… never flirt with the Hunters. Or any woman, for that matter, though I’d love to see the look on Will’s face if I did.”  
Leo gasped for air. “Will… his… boyfriend…”  
Jo nodded in understanding. “Ah.”  
Nico threw his hands up in the air. “Seriously, what is it with people and assuming I’m straight? Two times in one day, my gods… I can assure you all that I am very thoroughly homosexual.”  
“We don’t mean to make assumptions,” Emmie chuckled from the kitchen. “or to pry. No more questions, Nico.”  
He nodded. “Thank you.”  
“Dinner isn’t ready, but a banana or an apple might be good for now.”  
“That works.”  
Nico settled on an apple (“an apple a day keeps the doctor away”) and, after helping Leo pack some clothes and get Festus in order, the pair were ready to get to Camp Half-Blood. Leo kissed a sleeping Georgina goodbye and settled himself beside a shadow just large enough for two scrawny teenage boys.  
“You’ve never shadow-traveled before,” Nico stated, holding out a hand.  
“I have, actually. During the war with Gaea, remember?”  
Nico furrowed his brows, but nodded. “Ready?”  
The son of Hephaestus grabbed his hand just as they began to fall into the shadows. The darkness enveloped them. Leo found it hard to breathe, found his head pounding as the pressure increased. It was like he was drowning, but there was no end, no death, just pressure and aching and suffocating until the light reached him again and Leo found himself remembering what it felt like to come back to life. Here he was, falling into the light at the end of the tunnel.  
The coldness of Nico’s hand slipped away and Leo immediately collapsed. He gulped in as much air as he could and fell into a coughing fit just as he landed. He sat up to look at where he was.  
He was met with a familiar scent of strawberries and cedar wood. A flood of warmth pooled into his core, whispering reassurances, telling him that it would be okay. It would be okay.  
“Leo!”  
He was pulled into a tight hug.  
“Solace?”  
“Yep!” Will pulled back, a wide grin splitting across his freckled face. He looked older than Leo remembered, happier. “It’s me.”  
Leo smiled and clambered to his feet. “It’s nice to see you again, man.”  
“Same here, dude,” Will turned to the table, where Nico was lounging. His breathing seemed bated and short, his eyes drooping, and the dark circles under his those deep brown, shattered irises seemed to darken. They looked like bruises. “Neeks, are you okay?”  
Nico nodded. “Don't’ call me- don’t… call me that.”  
Will laughed and sat down next to his boyfriend, grabbing his hands. He closed his eyes. “Whatever, Death Boy, I can feel a ton of darkness in you. I’m assigning you two days of rest in the infirmary.”  
“I’m always there anyways, sunshine. Just take me to my cabin,” Nico nuzzled up to Will’s side, eyes slipping shut. His breaths evened out, setting a steady rise and fall to his chest.  
Will cooed. “You really are adorable, Mr. Dark Lord. Don’t you forget it.”  
Leo felt a dead weight fall onto his chest as he watched the two. He and Calypso had never been like that. They’d just burdened each other and argued over stupid nonesense and saved eachother and then argued some more. It was never playful, never fun. Every fight felt like a chip away at their Fates, a growing canyon between them.  
He would’ve cried had he not been in the present company.  
Will looked up from Nico. His eyes saddened, but there was no trace of pity. “Are you okay?”  
Leo nodded. “Of course I am, man.”  
Will chuckled, but his eyes remained as they were. “I’m gonna get my boyfriend to his cabin, but Mr. D and Chiron should just be through that,” he pointed to a red door just a few feet away. “door.”  
“That’s cool. Thanks, dude.”  
“No problem. I’ll be in the infirmary later, so call on me if you need to. Otherwise I’m probably with Nico.”  
Leo wiggled his eyebrows.  
Will scoffed, but said nothing.  
Once the two had gone on their way, Leo turned to the door that Will had pointed him to. He pushed through and found himself in a secluded hallway. The carpet was red, as were the walls. Paintings and pictures were framed in gold and silver on the walls and it smelled strangely like burnt toast.  
“Mr. D? Chiron? It’s Leo. You know, supreme bad boy and all that,” he peeked into a room as he walked further into the house.  
The only sounds were that of the Apollo kids on shift in the infirmary.  
“Liam Venezuela, welcome back to camp.”  
Leo spun around. “Mr. D?”  
The god rolled his eyes. “Yes Levi. Same old me.”  
“...okay. Where’s Chiron?”  
“Am I not sufficient enough for your needs, Volvo?”  
“Valdez.”  
“Whatever, follow me. Chiron’s waiting just down the hall.”  
Leo sighed, but followed. Even in his frustration, the relief he felt being back at Camp Half-Blood was immense. There were people who cared about him here, a chance to start again, a chance to find himself. The warmth he’d felt before grew tenfold within him, the whispers becoming a song.  
He was okay. It was going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s 2 am please I need sleep but I don’t want it.


End file.
